The Fall before the Fall
- mhblong238
- Nov 18, 2024
- 3 min read
Pōsōh,
This semester has been a whirlwind of learning, discovery, triumph, and exhaustion. I have been fortunate to enroll in three advanced math courses and an advanced Spanish course, conduct ongoing research, organize a math exploration day for middle and high school girls, and serve as the lead intern at the multicultural student services office. Simultaneously, I have been exploring the concept of graduate school, drafting statements of purpose, and managing my happiness. This busy schedule has led me to some enlightening self-discoveries: a newfound passion for research, a less intense attachment to mathematics than previously assumed, and a strong desire to pursue a Ph.D. These revelations are pivotal for me as it is the fall before the fall I start graduate school.
Loving Research: Who would have thought?
I have talked about my research a few times in this blog, but never have I said that I love it before. This fall has been such a fun and fast-paced learning curve for me. I've learned how to ask better questions, notice more complex patterns, and picture the things I am learning in ways I did not know my brain was capable of. It has been extremely rewarding to see equations that represent my ideas and knowledge gathered over the last year. Currently, I am working on finding a covering radius for my data that I gathered in June. After a few setbacks, I'm closer than ever to having a piece of knowledge about the world that no one else has. I feel thrilled to be preparing to share this knowledge at the McNair Symposium on December 2nd and then again at the National Conference for Undergraduate Women in Math later in January.
Math Obsession vs Learning Obsession
For the entirety of my life, my answer to "what is your favorite subject in school?" has been math. I have always had a deep affinity for working with numbers, recognizing patterns, and being challenged in school. Research has taught me that math really does exist beyond the classroom, and no matter what big questions I want to answer, I will always have the pleasure of working alongside numbers. With that said, taking three advanced math courses this semester has been one of the most challenging things I have ever done. I have been working day in and day out writing page-long proofs about the existence of addition, something I thought I understood at age 5. My passion does not lie within proofs but within the recognition of patterns itself and their relations to humanity. I love that math gave me an outlet to do challenging things for so long, but now my other classes across departments are stretching my brain in the same way math always has. I am ecstatic to be starting a new research project in the Spring covering Wisconsin Act 31 and all there is to know about indigenous studies in kindergarten to 12th grade in Wisconsin.
A PhD is for Me
Throughout my undergraduate career, I have largely focused on completing my homework and achieving good grades. However, in the last year, I realized that I love learning and the process of achieving it. My research journey started out quite questionably. I was timid, self-conscious, and inexperienced. I was at a very low level as a mathematician, had no experience answering my own questions without Google, and did not believe that I was smart enough to be a researcher. However, over the course of the last year, my maturity as a mathematician grew exponentially, and my work ethic to understand, not simply do, drastically changed how I felt about research and school. Now, as I look ahead to the next 4-6 years of my life, I cannot imagine not having the resources to continue asking my own questions and having the time to do so. Fortunately for me, PhD programs serve that exact purpose. I will be getting paid to sustain my life while I get to explore questions I have been asking myself since I was a little girl. I cannot wait to start a PhD program next year.
Wāewāenan
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